It's been a long time...

Hey, I haven't been on in a while due to work and school.

Since the last time I was on though, many things have changed. I've lost a few good friends due to distance, and "reality". I don't understand it and i doubt i ever will.

Senior year in highschool has brought about many changes in my social life, my expectancy of what my life is going to be like. I used to have the feeling i wouldn't live til i was 30, and now, well if I do that's great, but if i don't...that just means i wasn't meant to be here anymore.

My friends tell me to stop saying things like that b/c i'm going to be here for forever. I kind of laugh when I hear it because it seems like they are just like me when it comes to my mom, when she says something about her death i try to ignore it. I don't want to think about my mom dying.

I'm in a box, in the universe. No matter how hard i push the lid won't come open.

I'm going to live my life to the fullest, and hopefully my friends and family will be right there beside me when i do.

I love all of you...

bye bye,

Andrea

OH YEAH

The first part on the other one, were it said It's hard writing this...is about the other one I started but got side tracked...soo just ignore that part.

OK

I have been sitting here writing and erasing all kinds of stuff and that's not what I'm supposed to be doing I'm supposed to be writing what's on my mind and getting it over with....

Here it goes...

It's hard sitting here writing this...I'm looking around the room and catch a glimpse of the t.v. and see some people dancing, it catches my eye and I'm not able to get away. Just the way they are dancing..is wonderful, they can say so much just through the dance they are doing. I know...weird huh. Oh well, I never claimed to be normal. It makes me smile thinking of all the ways people are able to express different feelings. Feelings of anger, love, sadness, anxiety...and happiness, no matter if it is singing, dancing, writing, drawing, or even just the looks someone gives. It's amazing. NE WAYS, I don't think this is what I was going to write to begin with. lol how crazy is that?

I remember it was something about guys and how confusing they are...but oh well...maybe one day, i'll get whatever it was i was going to write straight and be able to post it!!!!!!!

BYE Y'ALL

I don't understand

I don't understand what is going on in my life. I don't know what my feelings exactly are at this moment, but I do know that I have lost a very important person in my life, and there is more than likely no chance of ever finding them again. Right this minute I am deciding to move on and get over this. It's going to take a lot more than just these words and a few tears to do it. It's going to take weeks, months, quite possibly even years to do it. But while i'm getting through it...I can't get OVER it, I have my friends and family there for me. They don't know what is going on because i'm not opening up enough to let them know. Even if they were to find this, and ask me a million questions, i'm not telling them. I don't see the point it's not like they are going to understand, and how can they, when I don't even understand.

Well things have been going great at school, I mean it's school. It's my Senior year, but it hasn't sunk in yet, I don't think it will.  I look around and i'm still thinking where are all the seniors at...it feels like senior skip day.

I really don't know what else to say.

bye bye,

~andrea~

Hey Y'all

I'm sittnig here with no one online. Bored out of my mind. I just got home from work at like 8:30. we got off really early tonight. They kind of agrivated me though, i was half way through zoning the store when they decided it was time to go and made me stop zoning. I don't understand it we get in trouble when the store isn't zoned right but the assistant manager makes me stop in the middle of it, i can't exactly help that. Why in the world would they want us to leave before it is cleaned? I don't know. HEY EMILY"S ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!! lol sorry, I have someone to talk to besides myself now. Ne ways...Other than that I had a pretty alright day. School went by fast, I didn't exactly do much of anything. I"m so tired right now though, I wish I could go to bed, but I'm not going to. Tonight on the way home from work I couldn't help but think about one of the greatest people in the world who has influenced my life greatly, I can't mention his name but he knows who he is if he ever reads this. He has disappeared...I have no clue where he is or if he will ever show up again. All i know is that I miss him so much. And I couldn't help but think about him.

Well that's all for today, I think....maybe more later.

Andrea